My Place in This World by Kevin Horton

I was 4 years old in 1969 when I first had to modify my behaviour to fit in. We were reading at school and the teacher said to stop so they could read to us. This did not seem logical to me as I could read for myself and said so, which did not go down well! It didn’t make sense to me and I had my first remembered shutdown/meltdown. I also learned I was different and had to adapt to be accepted.

I remained an outsider through school and college masking my actual behaviour and mirroring “human” behaviour to fit in but it never entirely worked as I would always do or say something that showed my difference so I was called weird and eccentric. I avoided bullying by meeting aggression with aggression so was left alone.

Socially I was part of the alternative/rock/meta/goth community and they are still my people, its inclusive and there are a lot of neurodiverse folk.

I started my insurance career 6^th June 1983 with a property and liability insurer as a trainee junior underwriter. I enjoyed the structure and logic of insurance learning a new language – Insurance English. I also found about schemes which is where niche knowledge was valued and respected.

I found underwriting black and white and a step removed from the end user so I moved to broking in 1985 and felt more at home using my technical translation skills, insurance English in to real English for policyholders and then real English into Insurance English for insurers. An example is the word Flood, to insurers its which river? whereas to policyholders they use the word in broader terms so the property was flooded by the washing machine. I worked on various schemes and it became my place, a niche within the broking niche.

I masked and mirrored to try and fit in at work for many years which was helped by taking as many training courses as possible to hone my human persona and I would recommend courses to neurodiverse folk especially, communication skills, presentation skills, sales skills plus management training. These courses have helped me understand and navigate the neurotypical world.

I developed a broking career in a schemes niche and built a multi-million premium book of business using my technical knowledge of cover and its application to the requirements of my clients and policyholders. I secured business through logic that I was providing the cover, price and service they needed and expected. My book reached a limit as I struggle with keeping more than a certain number of relationships going and this applies in my personal life too, I have a small circle of friends and family.

My diagnosis journey began in 2017 with autism being featured in programmes on channel 4 which I identified with plus my boss describing me as “The Policy Freak” to a new insurer we were seeking an agency with. I can read, understand, interpret and apply policy wordings without falling asleep! That outside view was a bit of a shock and I went into research mode to find answers.

Took me 2 attempts to get my GP to refer me for diagnosis and a CAMS triage appointment in 2018 cemented a full assessment in January 2019 and I am officially ASC1. I am lucky where I live that I got 3 follow up sessions explaining Autism, the elements/traits of the spectrum and how to move forward so telling friends, family, employer plus where to get further help and information.

I am not a looking back person, I move forward armed with and using this additional self-knowledge. I use it to help myself so understanding and explaining things like my light sensitivity (I remove bulbs, wear sunglasses), touch issues - not a hugger plus I wear shorts and short sleeves all year round. I also need more time to adapt to change.

My biggest issue is interoception where when focused my brain ignores messages from my body. When I break concentration the messages arrive at once so its bathroom, drink, food, hot, cold plus exhaustion. I now either set alarms or get reminders and check ins to ensure I am looking after myself.

43 years into my career and 7 years after diagnosis I feel I have settled into my place in the world. At home, out in the social world and at work I try not to mask or mirror and am very open about my Autism and happy to share why I wear shorts (and nail varnish – it’s a sensory thing) plus why there may be miscommunication due to a lack of social skills. I don’t understand social niceties so can be blunt plus I don’t read body language, facial expressions or vocal inflections. I miss out on 93% of human communication, I listen to the words and try and interpret what they mean. It’s a lot less tiring without masking and mirroring but still get peopled out if there are too many folk in a teams or meeting, I need to step away and recharge my social battery.

Long terms clients and colleagues understand my autism and that it doesn’t detract from my technical knowledge and experience, they value what I know and my sharing of that knowledge.

I am lucky in that my employer has a “Belonging Group” including a Neurodiversity crew with neurospicy folk, allies and advocates. I have to be careful as I can stray towards Activism. My social media interactions about Neurodiversity are exceedingly forthright especially with American politicians as I contradict their stereotype and enjoy correcting their understanding, having a 43 year professional career and a 26 year wonderful relationship.

I now have Neurodiverse on my email signature as I think its important to promote dialogue, understanding and acceptance. My hope is that this becomes the norm so we don’t have to find a space, instead we are accepted as part of the world.

Our sincere thanks to Kevin for taking the time to share his journey with us. Find your place in insurance and investment by becoming a Free GAIN Individual Member at FOR INDIVIDUALS | GAIN Together